Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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