I can tuck mytits in my pants
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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