he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
