biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
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