I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
