does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
