Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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