I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
