oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
