WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
