Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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