You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
