you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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