am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
