I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
