When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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