Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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