i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
