Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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