just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
