Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize