I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
