If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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