They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
