WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
