Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
