Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize