i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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