He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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