I love black thongs
I'm going to jail i love you
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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