how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
