She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
