Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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