The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
