Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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