I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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