I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize