You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
