he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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