my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
