She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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