I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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