it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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