The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
