How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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