Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
