it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
