We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
