Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
can u get pink eye on your cock?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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