so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
