I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize