So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
