Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
