he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
