Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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