dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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