While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
