I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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