just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
