Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
