you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
