I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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