TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
