I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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