You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize