took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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