That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
