just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
