You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think i got beer on your cat.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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