Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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