My brain says no but my pants say off.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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