she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
