Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
