His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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